Why I am an Independent Nichiren Buddhist

(Taken from an old post on my old blog)

The SGI (Soka Gakkai International) is the lay organization for the Buddhism of Nichiren Daishonen. I started practicing this Buddhism in 2004 and received my Gohonzon (a holy scroll that represents your life) in 2005.

Initially, I believed I had found where I belonged, but gradually, and especially since coming to SA and joining SGI SA, I realised that the organisation ain't really that organised. I began to grow very disillusioned with the organization altogether, and several events culminated and allowed me to make the decision to break ties completely.

I am not faulting the practice of Buddhism – Nichiren Daishonen’s or anyone else’s. It’s not the practice of Buddhism I have left behind: it’s the SGI.

In points, and no particular order, here are my reasons:

For a practice that is supposed to be about tolerance, I have seen a great deal of judgement delivered. I am openly gay and while I didn’t encounter any homophobia with the UK groups, I have in South Africa. I was waiting in line for a cup of tea at the end of a meeting, chatting to one of the ladies behind me. She was bemoaning the fact that she just couldn’t find the right man. I joked that perhaps she should be looking for the right woman. We both cracked up and laughed about this. The man in front of us, also a leader in the SGI, turned around and with venom spat out: “You people with your agendas. You come in and take our women from us. What’s the matter with you? Why can’t you just leave our women alone? Why do you always have to push your agenda in everyone’s faces?” He looked so angry, I was certain he would have hit me, if he had the chance. His tirade went on, saying pretty much the same thing in several different ways. Not cool. Another member in Singapore has told me that because she was gay, she was being ostracized by her family – all of whom are practicing Nichiren Buddhists with the SGI.

I was told that I need permission to practice healing modalities such as Reiki. Not a fucking chance. I don't have to ask anyone's permission.

The SGI discourages investigation into other schools of Buddhism. Nichiren Buddhism is promoted as the ONLY path. I like to think for myself and explore. If people are telling me not to look into other schools of Buddhism, I want to know why, and telling me that “those schools are wrong” isn’t a good enough reason. The SGI also discourages silent meditation. Again, the ONLY path is to chant. Stuff that – I have gained a lot of insight from silent meditation as well as chanting.

The SGI is infatuated with its lay leader, Daisaku Ikeda. Maybe I just didn’t get the lesson of mentor/disciple, but from working with Demartini’s Quantum Collapse Process, I know that I am no greater or lesser than another person. Yes, he has written great works and is a great leader, however, I am not going to view him as some kind of Buddhist Jesus. Nichiren’s Buddhism tells us we are ALL Buddhas. We all have Buddhahood. Then this man is no more enlightened than anyone else – we are both Buddhas.

Talking about everyone being Buddhas… We are told we are all Buddhas, but when we begin to think for ourselves and move away from the SGI, investigate other faiths and practices or meditate silently, you are labeled arrogant and ignorant.

The teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha, the guy who started it all, are left a little on the wayside. The eightfold path is not discussed. Ever.

I engaged in SGI activities. When my schedule no longer permitted me to be as involved, I was given a series of phone calls and emails, bordering on guilt trips in order to get me to come back. The organization didn’t like NO as an answer. Even after leaving, I have been pursued with a cult-like enthusiasm to return.

Finally, I don’t need to have permission to do what I do, nor is it necessary to apologise for who I am. No one has the right to tell me how my spiritual life should be structured or what I must believe.

So I have started my own religion. I call it Hectic Eclectic and I embrace all things and nothing. In fact, I do a lot of embracing. I’ve named myself the Huru Guru and I am basking in my own glory.

Kittens - Free to a Good Home

Today I learned that my friend was dead.

He had died, alone, poisoned, on the side of a street. For at least a day, he lay unclaimed on the top of a manhole cover. I wasn't there to comfort him. I wasn't there to tell him I loved him. That I still love him. Eventually, people would have come to trim the hedges around where he lay, and they would have tossed his body into the garbage, not caring that he was (is) loved.

But a set of unrelated and uncanny events led us to his final resting place, and we claimed the body of Bodhisattva Kinkytail and brought him home for burial, beneath an apricot tree alongside my ancestral shrine.

Bodhi and I had met by chance too.

A sign had been posted on the corkboard in the office building where I worked, declaring boldly: Kittens! Free to a good home. There was a picture of Bodhi, his nose stuck inside a slipper. I told Madelein I wanted to just 'have a look' at the kittens. Nothing more. Just look.

There were five kittens in all. I went straight to Bodhi, and picking him up in one hand, where he fitted so perfectly, I lifted him up to look more closely. That was when he touched noses with me and I turned to Madelein and said, "This one's coming home with us." She laughed. Of course he was. There was no way I was just going to LOOK at kittens. Come on. Get real.

Bodhi's adventurous spirit showed itself really early on. He pounced on anything that moved and was keen to make his way outside, into the world.

He turned out to be a great adventurer and lover of fine organic (rat/mouse/bird) cuisine. He even brought these morsels in for Madelein and I to share. Of course, we declined. He loved nothing more than adventure, finding his way up trees, onto our roof, going on excursions around the neighbourhood.

His spirit, it turns out, was much larger than what his body could contain. It was only after he had left us that we felt how empty the house felt. His spirit took up a room, a house, a garden, a neighbourhood.

There was a magnificent intellect that hid behind his eyes that seemed to hint at something beyond feline. He had a playful, self-assured presence. He was more like an elegant jungle cat than a house cat, although there was always the twinkle of mischief on his face.

 He looked so small when we buried him. It seemed impossible that the heart of a tiger could be housed in something that tiny. But it had been.

Indeed, the earthly realm has lost a great spirit, and heaven has gained one.

Thursday. Blech.

My mother hated Thursdays. She thought that everything that could go wrong would do so... on a Thursday. I don't think that it is much of a coincidence that she actually died on a Thursday then.

I have not allowed my mother's suspicion of Thursdays colour my perception of the day. It is, after all, a day. It's not a visit to the dentist.

But today, I am having, what my mother would call "A Thursday".  My Bodhi cat is missing. I haven't slept and feel like hell and on top of that, while in the shower, I found a small lump under my arm. I have never shot out of the shower so fast. I asked Madelein to have a look at it - I didn't want to. She reckons it's an ingrown hair.

Sigh.

Fucking Thursday.

Monday

There is no remedy for a Monday. I checked. And there is no guidance from Nichiren Daishonen regarding Mondays either. Perhaps he had other things to concern himself with than Mondays or how his followers may feel about it in much later generations.

I am usually able to 'do' Mondays. Just not this Monday for some reason.

There is nothing I can pinpoint exactly. Yes, I had a late night. Yes, I am concerned about finances. Yes I haven't had a proper cup of coffee...

Perhaps the problem isn't with Monday, or this particular Monday, but with me.

My enthusiasm has ebbed. I feel like I would best serve the world from under my duvet, cuddled up with dogs and a good book.

Life state. You can change it and shift it. I just think that it's going to take more than a cup of coffee today.

Maths and I have never been good friends...

I started to dislike maths the day we started doing fractions. It did my head in.

Later on, instead of numbers, there were all these letters - x + y = xy. WTF? That makes no damn sense!

In high school, I wrote silly poetry in maths class and passed these notes to my friends Dori and Orly who contributed to the silliness. I paid very little attention.

In my second term of matric, I switched my standard grade maths to Business Economics. Also boring, but a little more manageable. Maths and I had parted ways and I was showing my teachers the finger: See? You were wrong! I will NEVER need algebra in my life.

Until now, when I find myself eating humble pi. Yes. PI.

In order to get a foot in the door at chiropractic school, I need maths, physics and biology. I have the biology. Not so much the maths and physics.

I guess that maths and I will have to work together now.

Do One Brave Thing...

Over a period of three days, I have been reminded of something from three very different people. I am a believer in the Universal Baseball Bat.

THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSAL BASEBALL BAT

The law of the universal baseball bat states that the universe will tap you on the shoulder once or twice - three times if you're lucky. After that, it brings out the baseball bat.

Knowing and understanding the law of The Universal Baseball Bat has saved me several times from being clobbered.

The three people who approached me about the same thing - they're the three shoulder taps.

You see, when I was a kid, I wanted very much to be a doctor. I got toy stethoscopes and thermometers and other doctorly gifts for my birthday. I even got a model of the skeleton and the organs that you had to build yourself. I was going to be a doctor one day.

Then at thirteen, someone burst that bubble for me. No more doctor - now I was going to be an opera singer. And then that bubble burst.

So now, I begin a journey for a dream. One that involves doing Matric physics and maths when I never did them before in the first place, when I graduated high school 21 years ago... It will involve me being in the same class with students half my age, where I would be old enough to be their mother... It would involve six years of my life.

A journey begins with a single step, though. And that first step for me is to find an institution that would let me take classes in maths and physics.

Then I need to pass the exam.

And I would only end up going to university in 2014 in any case. And I have never been to university.

Leap and the net will appear, eh?

So here goes...

It's a Great Day to Be Alive

I was just listening to a track called "It's a Great Day to Be Alive". And even though today had elements of difficulty, sitting here now, I still think that it's a great day to be alive, regardless of the challenges that presented themselves.

Everything is a reflection. The only person you have any power to change is yourself.

Max the Medicine Man reminded me quite often that challenges are not challenges. Difficulties are not difficult. They're all just opportunities to discover our own Buddhahood.



"Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life, and continue chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. no matter what happens." - Nichiren Daishonin