Sunday, May 13, 2012

Delays, Detours and Self Doubt

Delays and Detours

STEP ONE:  Study and pass Grade 12 Maths and Science

Step one update: ON HOLD.

Financial debts that we had incurred have caught up to us, and settling these has become a priority. This means that my journey into mathematics and science is delayed by a year.

Yes, this is a a little disappointing. It has cast a great deal of doubt on my own abilities, my knowledge of myself and  my dreams. I spent most of the weekend thinking that perhaps this is the Universe's way of saying I don't deserve my dreams, that I am not really meant to be a chiropractor. I've been thinking that I am not clever enough to study chiropractic, that I suck at maths and maybe this is all for the best. How silly was I thinking I could go to chiropractic school? I've never been to university. In short, I have been feeling pretty crappy about it all.

Obstacles and Devils. That's what it is. So I found this quote from Nichiren Daishonin:
“Although I and my disciples may encounter various difficulties, if we do not harbour doubts in our hearts, we will as a matter of course attain Buddhahood. Do not have doubts simply because heaven does not lend you protection. Do not be discouraged because you do not enjoy an easy and secure existence in this life.”


  1. I'm sure you can achieve whatever you put your mind to! Even if you have to wait a year, you will still attain your dream! You have probably achieved a lot more so far than many other people.

  2. Think of it as a pause, not a setback, because I'm sure you will manage to get back to the studying in due course.