The Law of Karma

When we think of Buddhism, we think of Karma. When we think of Karma, we often link it to the old adage, "What goes around comes around", and for most people, that is precisely what they believe Karma is.

Karma, however, is more than a cosmic justice system or a reason to feel bad about one's life ("I've got such bad karma, no wonder these bad things keep happening..."). It's also not the feel-good fix-all that you can throw out to make yourself feel better about someone else's misfortune either ("I knew that karma would bite them in the arse eventually).

Karma is a Sanskrit word meaning "action" or "deed". Karma is the action that sets in motion the wheels of cause and effect, and was originally a tennet of the Hindu faith. (It's also a common idea shared in Jainism, Sikhism and even the Falun Gong. Although, if you are familiar with anything new-agey, you'll be familiar with karma too.)

Tied in with Karma is the concept of reincarnation* and the idea that our past actions - stretching back over many life times - all have some sort of impact on the life we are living right now. There are some schools of thought that one has to reincarnate many times in order to transform one's karma and reach Nirvana. There are other schools, like Nichiren Buddhism, who believe that one can transform karma right now, in this very lifetime.

CAUSE AND EFFECT

Karma is created through cause and effect. We create causes all day long, we just don't pay much attention to it. An easy example to illustrate this would be my dad. My dad smoked 60 cigarettes a day for most of his life. (The Cause) He died as a result of complications arising from emphysema, a direct result of smoking 60 cigarettes a day for most of his life (The Effect). We can create helpful causes (quitting smoking or not smoking at all) or unhelpful causes (smoking 60 cigarettes a day). These produce helpful effects (better health) or unhelpful effects (slow, painful illness culminating in death by heart attack or stroke). We get to choose.

Every moment of every day provides us with an opportunity to create helpful or unhelpful karma.**  I can choose to donate money to the homeless guy in the street or not. If I choose to donate, I may want to examine my intentions: donating so I can boast to my friends how generous I am (less helpful) or donating because the poor guy looked hungry and could do with a plate of food (more helpful).

SO HOW DO I CHANGE MY KARMA IN DAILY LIFE?

1. First of all, take a look at your less helpful behaviours. This is not an easy or comfortable task, but it will assist you in finding some of the 'biggies' (and some of the biggies, when examined, are actually not that big). For example, mine include a bit of swearing at taxi drivers and getting stressed out and frustrated with people, some jealousy, some poor self esteem.

2. Live mindfully. Be aware of how your actions and words will influence the people around you. Are you saying or doing something out of revenge or spite or are you doing it because you truly are working towards finding the justice in a situation?

3.  Gratitude is fantastic. Being grateful for what we have in the moment brings us back to the ever popular and sometimes elusive "now". Even the now is temporary and will change. Gratitude is a great way of releasing anger, frustration and jealousy.

4.  Nichiren Buddhists believe that chanting Namu-Myoho-Renge-Kyo helps to polish one's karma. Meditation works on the same level.

5.  Remember it's not all about you. And it is all about you. Your perception of the world is purely that: YOUR perception. To someone else you may seem like the bossy client, but to you, you may seem like someone who knows what she wants and the service providor may appear to be an idiot. Which of these is true? Both. And neither. It's all about how YOU perceive a given situation.

6. Karma isn't a bitch. Your own actions - cause and effect - created the situation you're in. Accept responsibility for your part in your psychodrama and realistically set about rectifying or improving on it.

Your karma is your own responsibility. It's not something that happens to you. It's not a punishment from God, Buddha or the Great Cosmic Joker. Karma holds YOU accountable for your thoughts and actions within your own life. There's no blaming the bunny, or the devil. The only one doing the living in your life is you.

The idea of Karma being my own responsibility is both liberating and sobering. How I treat others and myself will determine my Karma. I am not interested in transforming the karmic backlog of however many lifetimes. I am certain that some things have already been dealt with, or have manifested in this current life to be dealt with now. I only have this moment to polish the mirror in which my karma is reflected. So do you.

*Incidentally, early Christians believed in the concept of reincarnation too, but the idea was one of those that got ditched at the first Vatican Council. The Gnostics and Cathars, however, continued preaching reincarnation until they were all summarily murdered by the Church as heretics and witches

 ** I prefer the terms 'helpful' and 'unhelpful' when it comes to describing karma, as 'good' and 'bad' don't seem to include our own accountability and responsibility.



Friend.

This comes from a friend of a friend, actually. Lisa-Jo Baker's blog was discovered by me, this morning on Kerry's blog. And I decided to take her up on her invitation to spend five minutes of my morning just writing. On the topic of "Friend"... 3... 2... 1.... Time starts... NOW:

I am an odd sort of person when it comes to friends. I have to really like them. That sounds odd, considering everyone really likes their friends, right? What I mean is - like them to the point that their eccentricities, darkness, bad days, let downs, letting me downs don't matter as much as just loving them as my friend.

I am incredibly luck in that I can count some family members as friends too. Not everyone can say that.

I have several friends who have been around a long time. Twenty-five years for two of them. Sixteen years. Fourteen years. Some, fourteen months. And I love them all.

They are all excritiatingly diverse in personality, but they do share just one thing in common: if I haven't seen or spoken to them in ten years, ten months, ten minutes, whenever we get together, it feels as though no time has passed at all and we can simply pick up the thread of the last conversation and reconnect. For that, I am blessed.


STOP. TIME'S UP.

READ MORE ABOUT A SPECIAL FRIEND, HERE

Now it's YOUR turn. Go visit Lisa's blog, read the instructions and do your own "Friend" inspired post. Stick a comment on my page so I can go read your stuff.

Have To / Must.

So here's the thing. I am  undoubtedly very stressed out. In March, I landed my arse in the emergency room with chest pains that I thought were the start of a heart attack. Turns out that I was only having a very severe anxiety attack. And I say 'only' with a tinge of sarcasm.

As a result I have decided to cut all my 'crazy makers', 'have tos' and 'musts' loose. Because they are fucking with my head. First to go was Facebook. Then a few ideas hit the dirt: "I have to become a chiropractor. I have to listen to this idiot. I have to keep my mouth shut. I have to be nice/perfect/thin/go to gym five days a week."

Yesterday I was given a freelance editing job that came with no brief, changing of goal posts and a ridiculous deadline. My reaction was:

I am now going to take a break and drink a nice hot cup of tea and I am going to take however long it takes. Because I don't  have to get stressed out about a job that I wasn't given all the pieces of the puzzle for.

A Change of Direction

It was in either 2005 or 2006 that I received Gohonzon from the SGI (Sokka-Gakkai International), a lay organisation based on Nichiren Buddhism.

For some time now I have been practicing independently, and this morning I had a revelation while chanting with new friends who practice in the Nichiren Shu tradition: it is time to return my Gohonzon to the SGI.

As was pointed out to me today, the Gohonzon I received from the SGI is still property of the SGI - it doesn't belong to me per se. Which means that it was never mine and only on loan.

So now begins an interesting process, one that is undertaken with seriousness: the process of returning my Gohonzon.

I didn't even realise I had that decision to make until in a flash it was there, fully formed and my mind already made up. It was instant. It was like believing the world was only made of darkness until someone switched on the lights and it changed everything you thought you know. That dramatic and that instantaneous.

It seems apt. The past year has been a journey through a number of different forms of suffering and now as I stand at the precipice of 40, a lot of things in my life are looking very different.

On 11 March I went into the emergency room because I had chest pains so severe, I thought I was having a heart attack. It turns out that what I was experiencing was a rather severe form of an anxiety attack. I have been making changes that benefit my life since then. I deactivated my Facebook account, I now take lunch breaks. I speak up for myself when I would have remained silent in the past. And here it is, another decision that I didn't realise I had already made: return Gohonzon, keep practicing Nichiren Buddhism and learn more about the Nichiren Shu practice and Buddhism as a whole.

I know I will be fine. Yes, there are other changes to make. One at a time. And this change feels 100% right and in line with my life and in line with respecting myself.

The Big Four-Oh Approaches...



This is me, about 38 or so years ago

 I turn 40 this year.

Hard to believe.

Technically, I am already in my fortieth year and my next birthday is really a celebration of the conclusion of being 40.

And I've noticed a few things. At first, some of the things made me think that perhaps I was turning into my mother, but upon closer inspection, it seems that I am returning to myself.

I noticed that I had begun to listen to Classic FM in the car. And classical music at work. My mother used to do this, but so did I, as a child. For some reason, I loved classical music when I was a kid. Which is admittedly weird for a child, but I was no ordinary child.

The music soothes me. 

At home, I listen to Lotus FM. Yes. Lotus FM. I know, right? Caucasian girl listens to Indian music. When I was a little girl, we sometimes went to Tempo curtains, which was run by an Indian family. They were always playing Radio Lotus. I loved it. Rinky-Tinky music, I called it. I have fantastic memories of ducking through swathes of curtain material while tablas and sitars played and women sang in unusual high pitched voices in a magical language. And the day I discovered the radio station for myself - oh, the joy! Needless to say, my mother was far from impressed.

Picture Credit: Germaine de Larch

I listen to my mod-jazz, afro-jazz, vintage jazz and it fills me with joy. The thought of taking up singing again fills me with joy. My eccentricity and love of floppy hats fills me with joy. It is as though I have no time or space in my life for those things that do not fill me, create joy or resonate with my soul. I have no time for crazy-makers, psychic vampires or people who are black holes that try to suck out my soul. I have no time for cheap and nasty wine or chocolates or cake.

I have become more vocal and more eccentric. I want to create art, perform and tick off the items on my bucket list. I want to live a life that is full, passionate and meaningful.

I still wonder where the decade went between 30 and now. I lived that time in a fog. At 29, I remember being on my knees in the bathroom, crying my heart out and asking the Universe to let someone live my life, that I was unable to do so myself. That I couldn't. And a part of me, deep down, took over for a while. And it lived out ten years in a mostly dissociative state.

Now, though, I have a strong desire to live fully and authentically. Eccentrically. With floppy hats and strawberry daiquiris and jazz and cuban music and Lotus FM. It feels good to be on the brink of 40.

What Have You Got Lined Up for 2013?

My friend Kerry, over on Ginger and Spice asked, at the end of one of her blog posts, "What have you got lined up for 2013?"

Well, 2012 was... interesting... I wouldn't say it was THE worse year in the history of Tam, but it was amongst the most challenging. Also not THE most challenging, but in the top ten. Not that challenging years should have a top ten, mind you. People like recapping top tens. Like the top ten hits of the eighties or some such. Bottom ten, maybe?

We got off to a shaky financial start in 2012 and lost three furbabies in the space of four months. My health was ridiculous. And not ridiculously good. Ridiculously bad. The plus side, though, our business flourished, we gained lots of new clients and bought a second car. Not to mention that our challenges were opportunities to grow closer to each other. I began to transform myself into a healthier being and Madelein and I celebrated four years of marriage in a country, which can be silly about a lot of things, is not silly about same-sex marriage. However unAfrican it may be.

So. What have I got planned for 2013. Let's see:

*  Somewhere in 2012, I lost my ability to tolerate bullshit and fakery. Long may it continue!

*  I have a lot of studying to do. Maths and Science matric - old curriculum. Higher grade. I need tutors. LOTS of them.

*  To finance abovementioned tutors, I have taken on some proofreading work and will be selling my paintings (that I painted, not that I had acquired).

*  Having rediscovered my voice, I would like to put some tunes together and put on a show. A drag king show. A drag king JAZZ show. Just because it's on the bucket list.

*  I intend to do all three Sleek Geek challenges and continue the good work started last year with transforming my health. Yay! And just to be on the safe side, I found a personal trainer who can help me (not all the time - personal trainers cost more than tutors so I can't have a whole one at once). See above financing ideas.

*  I am writing a saga. Bitterhoek. Those who know about it will know about it.

*  A collaboration of words and image with Germaine de Larch.

*  Presenting at least 3 creative writing workshops

*  Meeting my friends in Jozi in the real world more often.

*  Madelein and I are planning a spiritual ceremony for towards the end of the year to celebrate five years of marriage.

There you have it,

What have YOU got lined up for 2013?

In Real Life





 

I very much doubt that the world will become an emptier place should I discontinue updating everyone on exactly what I did at the gym today. There will be no volcanic eruptions or asteroids slamming into the earth. The world will simply continue as it has always done.

 

And why is it, exactly, that I feel the need to inform all and sundry just how bloody difficult that cardio workout was, or how my client's receptionist is a whiney, immature little madam who is so far up her own arse she can see her tonsils? Is it validation I need? If I don't post on Facebook or Twitter, do I cease to exist? Of course not. I actually exist in the real world with my flaws and moodiness and pouting silences, far away from the witty remarks and intellectual ponderings. The cyberworld gets to see the witty, interesting virtual me and thinks that this is the real me.

 

In fact, the real me isn't even the me that I think I am. You see, before coming here, I convinced myself that I am Tam Olckers, when in fact, the personality Tam Olckers doesn't actually exist. But that is a long discussion for another day and I digress.

 

I am quite seriously cutting down my virtual life. I am no longer going to be logging into Facebook several times a day to see how everyone is doing and to splash everyone's news feed with my petty, boring and unsubstantial remarks and comments. I don't live my life in status updates, comments and likes. I live it in sweat, blood, tears, laughter and copious amounts of coffee.

 

 

The decision to unplug comes in on the blazing comet tail of my other decision to no longer fill my life with emotional junk, clutter and noise. I no longer have the energy - or time - to get wound up in intrigues, scandals and photos of planking. Ditching the junk means ditching junk activities as well as all the junk food and junk thoughts I've been consuming. It doesn't mean I won't log on once in a while to say "Hi" to all the friends I won't get to connect with otherwise. I'll still post updates once in a while. I'll still comment and like and look at the photos of planking.  Facebook has become the only vehicle of communication with some friends and family. I just won't be communicating quite as often as you've become accustomed to.

 

Luckily for me, the people I have on my social media are people I respect, love and would invite to an elaborate multi-course dinner at my home. Life, I've decided, is too short for cheap red wine and fake friends. I have paintings waiting to be born, and those of you who began reading  my "Bitterhoek" saga will want to read more and I need the space - within myself and in my schedule - to do that. There is a lot of studying (of maths and science) to happen next year. There is no way I can do all this and still keep checking into Facebook six times a day.

 

It's time for me to live In Real Life. To have real conversations, cups of coffee and dinners with the people who live in Johannesburg and meaningful emails and letters with everyone else.

 

I miss the silence I had before. I miss seeing people face to face. I regret nothing.