Wednesday, August 29, 2012

To Grieve.

Grief - Original Artwork T Olckers. All Rights Reserved
I grieve.

I have lost three children since April this year. They weren't human children; two were cats and one a dog. That doesn't mean that my grief is any less than if they were human children.

I still look for them. Sometimes I catch glimpses of them from the corner of my eye that turn out to be shadows. The pain of their passing is real, and I miss them every day, as much as I miss my father who died four years ago.

Yes, I will be ridiculed by some people. Of course, that is to be expected. "It's just a DOG. It's just a CAT. You can get another..." and "Don't be silly. They weren't REAL children."

To me they were real. I have no human children and I love my animal children as much as I would if they were human.

I still expect to see Bodhi sauntering up the drive to greet me. I expect to find Diego wagging his tail at the gate. I still sometimes think I see Leilah surveying the world from her perch on the roof. And then I realise that none of them are there, that they are gone, and I grieve.

I have cried more these past four months than I have in the past four years. My children are gone. I still have five living, four legged and furry babies. I love them too. I miss the ones who are no longer with me.

And I grieve.


  1. Hi Tam,

    So sorry to hear about your pets. You're not silly at all, it's very hard not to get attached to pets: they are part of our families. Animals are each as unique as humans. Have faith that they are somewhere now being looked after, and one day you'll see them all again. I wish I had better words or better advice to share.

    I've closed my blog for a while, in case you were wondering what happened to it.

    1. I did wonder. Was actually going to pop you an email to find out how you were.

      Thanks for your kind words. Losing these children really broke me but I am getting back into things.