Call Me Reverend.

OR: NEDBANK SUCKS DONKEY ARSE

So, Maddies and I have been interested in opening an investment savings account with Nedbank. I phoned last week Thursday and gave them all the details they needed and they sent back some forms, which I refused to sign as they were incorrect. They got our address wrong and they had me down as 'Mrs' - after I told them I am 'Ms'.

Today, just over a week later, they finally decided to return my phonecall (after numerous calls placed to their AskOnce helpline; and I had to ask more than once).

The lady I spoke to, Melanie, wanted to know why we hadn't returned the forms. I gave her the whole story. She asked me what was incorrect. I told her. And then, she argued with me and it went something like this:

Me: "I am not 'Mrs'"

Melanie: "I do have you down as married out of community of property. I am not sure where I may have gone wrong with that information."

Me: "That information is correct."

Melanie: "Then you ARE a 'Mrs'"

Me: "I am certainly not. I am 'Ms'"

Melanie: "Could you please tell me WHY?" (REALLY? WTF? Is this woman serious or stupid?)

I then launch into a brief history of feminism, as I wrote HERE in Adventures in Dykeville as Kitty van Dyke.

Me: "I choose to call myself 'Ms' because I do not belong to a man. I am a lesbian who is married to a woman."

Melanie: "Why didn't you tell me all that when we filled out the telephonic form?" (This chick really has a death wish.)

Me (really pissed off now): "I don't feel I have to justify either my sexuality or my title to anyone, and most certainly not to a stranger from a bank."

Melanie (sounding self-righteous): "Well, it's Nedbank's policy to use those terms."

Me: "Nedbank's policy is archaic. Nedbank's service sucks donkey arse. And if Nedbank has an issue with calling me 'Ms', they can call me 'Reverend'."

Nedbank is going to get a very nice (not) letter from me.